Don't kill your love one with Nutella

Admit it fucktards! you probably think that nutella is just a harmless chocolate spread made out of hazelnut. Like me, you probably gorges on it when you are a kid. Firstly, a bit of history about Nutella, it is nickname the poor man chocolate when it was first invented. Especially during the world war where soldiers traded whores for chocolates, cheaper whores would do it for nutella anyway. It was no doubt an ingenious way to satisfy the general population craving for chocolate.

But the thing about Nutella is...it is pure evil. Nothing more than murder in a jar. it is processed with Sugar, Palm Oil, a little hazel nut, even lesser cocoa solids and some other usual food chemicals. Just in case you have no idea what palm oil is, it is pure saturated fat grown from trees in south east asia and south america. A crop of abundance that is farmed by the most rudimental farmers who burn through 5000 calories cutting them down everyday. who needs a gym membership when you are dirt poor...

Just so you know, Nutella consist of 11% Saturated fat and 58% processed sugar by weight.. and they keep barking hazelnut in the commercial with dumb white kids spreading it on their gluten and having fun until they are diabetic in their teens.

Each serving of 30+g which you spread on a piece of bread have a whopping 200 calories, 11g of fat and 25g of fucking processed sugar.

so why am i writing this, well..... because i bought it! i bought it because they have a great marketing campaign that give you a sticker with pre printed name of your onto the bottle. Very different from the retarded coke campaign which you can print any name as long as you go down like a cheapskate you are to their booth and queue like a loser just so you can print whatever stupid fuck shit you want on a 45c coke can. Worst still, the person receiving the fucking coke, cant drink it because you being a fucktard might be disappointed. Worst gift ever! You know people collecting coke can remind me of the same type of dipshit that collect sand from their travels and displaying it on their cheap ikea cabinet. Who gives a fuck where you been. 

And there no exclusivity for the coke can, there is no limit of any name you can print. The nutella on the other hand, pre printed only a selection of names in limited quantity. So certain popular names are gone in a jiffy and if you have a retarded name like brayden, jayden or elves sounding from lord of the rings, you don't fucking have your sticker! go blame your crap parents for trying to name you like an accessory. 

Anyway I bought it for my love but not because i wanna murder her but i just couldn't resist seeing her name on the classic jar. I wish Nutella offer a godiva version of chocolate spread and they can charge me 20 times the amount.

Buy it before the marketing campaign end but don't eat it. At least share it with people you hate or if you afford the calories. Spread UP!